The Real and The Imaginary
by lyrical-liaisons
Summary: What happens when you are raised to fight a war, that you fight and win. Sort of. Harry may have won the war with The Dark Lord but he is left with nothing and with no one. So he runs just to stumble across a set of amber eyes but did he dream them too...
1. Another Airport

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything. Twilight is all Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter is all J.K. Rowling.

**Warning: **SLASH. Suicidal at times. Don't like it. Don't read it.

**Author's little note:** This is my first attempt at a Harry Potter Twilight crossover. I just love them and wanted a chance to have my own little input with these fascinating characters. Not totally sure where I will be going with this or how long it will be yet. But I do have a little plan laid out. If you want to see something or have an idea where to go with this than let me know!! BTW the year is 2005 and it is September. so yes this is the time when Edward leaves Bella in New Moon.

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**Another Airport**

The war was over. It had been over for years, many years in fact. Long enough for the wounds to have healed and everyone to have gotten on with their lives. So why did he still feel this way? Like there was a constant shadow covering him. He was now 25 years old. Why was it that still every waking moment of his borrowed existence was spent dreading the next. His only ally was sleep where he could dream. Even the nightmares of the war long over were welcoming compared to the emptiness of consciousness. He had spent so many years of his childhood planning for the ultimate destruction of The Dark Lord that he knew nothing else.

Harry Potter was a boy raised in the time of war; no he was raised for the war. Peace was not a word he could familiarize himself with. Especially not with high cost this so called peace had come with. Everyone. Nearly everyone one was gone. But he could not think of names. It was still too painful. But he could see their faces with every blink of his eyes pictures dance across his mind. It was now his only consolation that the war had happened and that everyone he cared for had actually existed. A girl with bushy brown hair... gone forever. A freckles face with fire hair... gone forever. A long lost Uncle, the helpful werewolf, many more red heads, a long white beard... He forced himself to stop thinking about them, instead turning his attention back to his surroundings.

He was sitting in a ridged plastic chair in an airport. The Seattle- Tacoma International Airport in Seattle Washington USA to be exact. It was an all too familiar scene to Harry and he was starting to believe that all airports looked the same. He could be in England for all he knew. Never again. Harry Potter had decided that he would never again step foot in that particular country. He would rather be in Alaska freezing to death. Death, there he was again thinking about death. It was his constant companion.

He turned his attention back to the coffee cup in his right hand; it was half full and had been cold for about the last hour. He got up from the chair and stretched. He must have been sitting there for a while because both his legs were numb. He picked up his backpack, trashed the cold coffee and went in search of the screens that tell you flight arrivals and departures. He was only concerned with the departures. It was a game he had begun playing a few years ago. Pick the first flight on the board that he could catch and go. Then Harry would find himself in a new place and hopefully one that was exciting but more importantly distracting. When that place would bore him or someone would get too close to him or even if he would just think too much again he would head off to the closest airport and try all over.

Scanning the TV with his empty green eyes he noticed that the next flight out he could make was to Orlando, Florida. '_No thank_ _you'_ he thought to himself. '_Been there, done that one and I do NOT feel like being anywhere sunny and warm.'_ That was another rule to his game. He could not go back to a place he had already been. Why would he want to anyways, if he had left the place due to boredom or people?

Harry went to look back at the screen it was then that someone passed by him. He was distracted by the sweet smell that tickled his belly and gave him goose bumps. His eyes moved to find who the owner of this scent was and were met by a pair of amber orbs staring back at him. Harry felt his cheeks blush at being caught staring at a stranger but could not bring himself to look away. This boy in front of him looked to be about 18 years old. Everything about his face was perfectly shaped from his angular jaw line to his messy brown hair. He was incredibly attractive to Harry, all six feet of him. Harry couldn't believe that he had just thought that about this boy. This Boy! Not only did that mean that Harry was having thoughts about a man but one who was at least 10 years his junior. Had all this time alone really dropped himself to the level of a pedophile?

It was this thought that made Harry look away from the boy. _'Great.'_ He thought to himself. _'The sooner I get out of here the better.' _ Seattle was turning out to be a really bad choice. He turned his attention back to the TVs. Toronto, Ontario was the next flight heading out. That will work. It was the end of September. '_hmm. Fall in Canada. Could be fun.'_ Harry took a quick glance at the boy who was standing in the same spot. He had not moved a muscle except for his eyes that were now focused on the TVs. He looked like a statue of pale marble perfect in every way that would be so smooth to touch. The amber eyes shifted to gaze back at Harry who shook his head and turned away.

Harry quickly made his way to the front and bought a ticket for the flight to Toronto.

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AN: now let me know what you think and if i should even bother to continue.


	2. Running Again

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything. Twilight is all Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter is all J.K. Rowling.

**Warning: **SLASH. Suicidal at times. Don't like it. Don't read it.

**Author's little note: **Ok. so there seems to be some interest in this. here goes on chapter number 2. I made a little mistake here. Ive been thinking about the timeline for this story and I am going back to September 2005.. which is when Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. So if I'm going to keep all the dates matching up that makes our Mr. Harry Potter only 25 years old. Also Harry is a little OOC and very depressed if you cant already tell ;) As for whether or not Edward can read his mind. I have not made up my mind on that one yet so I am witting so that it could still work both ways. Will decide that when we get a EPOV soon. enjoy.

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**Running... again.**

Harry looked at his wrist watch. 12:34pm. So he had one hour and eleven minutes before his plane was scheduled to take off. He made his way over to his flights designated gate picking up a fresh coffee and a newspaper on the way. He picked out a seat as far away from people he could manage in a corner. Harry purposely dropped his backpack two seats down so no one would sit relatively close to himself and opened up the newspaper.

As soon as he began to read his mind flashed a pair of amber eyes across the page. Why was he still thinking of that boy? Harry would never know his name or see him again in his life. This realisation shocked Harry not because of its truth but that it pained him. He wanted to know that boy. Wanted to know his name and see him again. He wanted to touch his marble skin and perfect lips.

Harry shook that last thought off with a laugh. He was finally starting to go mad. Although this boy was the first real thing that had distracted Harry's mind from the war since it had ended 7 years ago. He had actually successfully managed to not reminisce in his past for the last half an hour. '_Figures. I spend years brooding over my life to have some bloke distract me so easily.'_ He thought to himself and focused his eyes back on the newspaper in front of him.

There was some story about a fire that had broken out downtown in an old abandoned warehouse but Harry's mind could not focus on the words. '_I spend way too much time alone.' _His mind wandering yet again. But this was the way it had to be and Harry knew it. He was long past the time where he could learn to trust and love. So why even bother with trying to pretend to be around people? When any contact other than when Harry was in need of something would only end in suffering. Suffering because he would never stay around long enough to trust or to love. Harry saw no need to create anymore pain in this world. He was a master of pain so why be the cause of it to others? `_I`m hopeless`_

"Excuse me. Is this seat taken?" said a perfectly smooth male voice.

Harry moved the newspaper out of his face and looked up to see the boy with amber eyes.

"Umm. No." Harry replied being completely off guard. He wasn't supposed to be here. That boy was suppose to be the random encounter that Harry would think about and then push to the back of his overcrowded mind and forget. But here he was standing right there in front of Harry, speaking to him. And what a wonderful voice it was. The boy took a seat in the chair directly opposite of Harry. He moved so gracefully like each little movement was so intentional Harry couldn't look away.

"I saw you looking at the departures. Where are you headed?" that perfect voice asked.

"Toronto." Harry blurted without thinking. _'What on earth made me tell him exactly where I was going... like it was any of his business!'_

The boy's facial expression did not change but his eyes were piercing Harry.

"My name is Edward Cullen." He reached out his right hand.

"I'm Ronald Weasley." Harry heard himself say. _'Why am I lying to him? And why on earth did I have to use THAT name. That dead name. A name I haven't spoken out loud since...'_

Harry instinctively took Edward's hand in a shake without breaking their eye contact. The coldness of his skin gave Harry goose bumps and the electricity of their touch brought his mind back to earth. Electricity? It was like the feeling Harry use to get every time he would touch someone or something that was magical. A very small electric shock that occurs when two things with magical cores touch one another. Most witches and wizards tone out the shock and barely even notice it there because magic is constantly around them. But Harry had been away from the magical community and anyone who belonged there for the last 7 years which is why he noticed the shock now. So the boy in front of him had a magical core. With cold skin. Perfect movements. Beautiful features. If Harry remembered anything from his years of schooling at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry then Edward Cullen was a Vampire.

Edward was watching Harry without portraying his own thoughts. Even with the lack of expression on the Vampire's face Harry could tell that his little inner struggle had not gone unnoticed.

"Well it's nice to meet you Ronald. Why are you going to Toronto?" He asked this time with a raised eyebrow.

'_To get the bloody hell away from everything.' _Harry thought but responded with "Umm. Visiting with an old friend."

Harry was confused. Why was this gorgeous vampire in an airport talking to him? Was he meant to be his next meal? Harry was trying to judge just how fast he could reach in his bag, find that long rectangular box and take out his wand. He wondered if he would even remember how to use it. Harry had of course kept his wand out of love for the slender piece of wood but had not preformed magic since the war. Since the day he lost everything. Harry figured that since there was nothing left to live for in the magical world then why should he sure magic. It was the cause of it all.

The vampire across from him shifted his weight in the chair and pretended to be interested in some people walking by. Harry knew the movements were unnecessary and if he remembered correctly that vampires could hold any position for an inhuman amount of time. This must be all just an act to seem more human. But why? All the stories of vampires Harry had ever heard portrayed the creatures as wild. Taking human life whenever and wherever they wanted. _"they were even pets to bloody Voldemort!' _This thought put Harry on edge. What was Edward doing here anyways?

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked surprising himself with the question he did not intend to ask out loud.

Edward's eyes turned back to Harry and he could see them darken.

"Going on vacation." He answered his voice not faltering at all.

"Where?"

Edward's eyes moved from Harry and gazed to the wall behind him.

"I am not sure yet. I have not made up my mind as to where I will be going."

"Why are you leaving then?" Harry couldn't believe the questions kept coming out of his mouth. Why was he sitting here talking to this vampire? Why was he interested in him? Why did he want to put his arms around Edward's perfect body and stay there? Stay? He could never stay.

Edward wasn't moving, he gazed at the wall with empty eyes without answering Harry's question.

_'I need to get out of here. I need to get away.'_ Harry thought. This was becoming too much. He had shown interest in someone. Someone who would just hurt him.

"This is the first boarding call for anyone travelling on flight number 534 to Toronto. Anyone who is seated in rows 1 thru 10 may now board. Thank you."

_'Thank god. Saved by the bell.' _Harry dug through his bag and retrieved his ticket that placed him in the 8th row. He looked at Edward who was now staring at Harry. Was Harry mistaken or did something in those amber eyes plead for him to not leave.

"Well umm. That's me. Nice talking to you." Harry stuttered and stood up to walk away.

"It was a pleasure just meeting you Ronald Weasley."

Harry turned to walk towards the gate. Why did it hurt to walk away from this vampire? Why did it feel wrong to hand his ticket to the stewardess? Why did his insides turn when he looked back and took one last look at Edwards perfect face?

_'I would only get hurt or worse hurt him' _and with that last thought to himself Harry turned and walked away.

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AN: So what did we think about the second chapter??? They have met... but harry is running. fun fun fun


	3. Where To Go

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything. Twilight is all Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter is all J.K. Rowling.

**Warning: **SLASH. Suicidal at times. Don't like it. Don't read it.

**Author's little note: **Here is the third Chapter. It is in EPOV and is setting up some relationships and history stuff so we are all on the same page before i continue with my own plot.I dont believe in love at first sight. and i dont believe that Edward would just drop everything and run off with Harry.. after all I believe that Edward is trully in love with Bella at this time in the story. So hes confused. For those of you who are Bella haters .. sorry i couldnt just leave her out. she brings in too much to this story and i like her.

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** Where to go**

Edward wanted to chase after the boy, Ronald, but kept himself standing where he was perfectly still. Edward knew that Ronald was not his real name. He had heard the boy's inner struggle about lying to Edward concerning the use of the name Ronald. That name was dead to him. Edward found himself wondering who the real Ronald was and what had happened that had caused this boy so much pain to consider the name dead. The vampire also found it strange how 'Ronald's' mind would sound like a whisper that he could not understand. But every so often there was a thought or two that Edward could hear perfectly. Like the only time he could read his mind was when the human said something to himself that nearly came out verbally. It was terribly confusing to Edward to sit across from 'Ronald' and try to read his mind. It was like listening to a scratched record which had more scratched music than an actual melody. Yet the notes were there and every so often admits the scratched nothing was a beautiful harmony that sang to him.

Edward watched as 'Ronald' handed his ticket to the stewardess and looked back once more. He noticed the dark circles beneath this human's green eyes that looked like they have seen a hundred years of sorrow. Although 'Ronald' appeared to look around 19 or maybe 20 years old, Edward could tell that those emerald eyes have seen much, much more. His raven hair was unruly but it looked like 'Ronald' liked it that way. It was like he hid himself from the world little by little with the start being behind those dark locks. And the next layer being behind those sullen eyes which at some point must have been his most captivating feature. Not that Ronald wasn't good looking; he did have a rugged handsomeness. To Edward he was beautiful and intriguing.

'_But why? Why am I so interested in this human? I just left Bella, the love of my existence alone in Forkes with a bunch of rabid wolves.'_

Bella, Isabella Swan. Edward's beautiful and sweet Bella whose mind was always a mystery to him. Her blood sang to him, like nothing else could sing to him in the world. When she was absent there was a huge cloud that hung over him constantly. It was only her presence that made him feel alive, if he could call it alive. Maybe he should just go back to her after all he was in love and wanted her to be happy and safe.

'_Happy and safe; the two reasons why I of all people should stay as far away from her as possible. I am a monster and will only end up being the cause of Bella's destruction.'_

Edward had left Bella. So she could live her life and love someone who was actually capable of taking care of her. She wanted to be changed. She wanted to be a Vampire. She wanted to be this soulless monster that he was. She had no understanding of what she was asking of him and he would never comply with that wish. Bella was too beautiful and innocent. So Edward had left. He had packed up everything and moved his family out of Forkes so that Bella would have the chance at a life without Vampires and death. Carlisle had been very worried about him and did not like Edward's idea of leaving so suddenly. But Edward had insisted and sent Carlisle and the rest of his family to Alaska ahead of him. He didn't want to go to Alaska. He was in desperate need of some time away from everyone but wasn't sure exactly where to go. Back to Bella? No.

'_I can't go back to her. I won't go back to her. Ever. She deserves life. I cannot imagine this world without her being a part of it.'_

Edward had thought all of this in the few seconds that it had taken for 'Ronald' to turn around and walk out of sight. He felt a second shadow fall over him with the absence of this boy. He wanted to protect 'Ronald'. To find out what it was that had caused his eyes so much pain and heal it. Then shield him from every feeling that kind of pain again. Edward did not need Jasper's gift of feeling emotion to feel the depression that ran over 'Ronald' like a constant stream.

Edward had made his decision. He walked to the front of the airport to the next airline that had a open reception.

"Excuse me Miss." Edward asked flashing a little smile. "When is the next flight to Toronto, Ontario departing and are there any seats left?"

The young female attendant looked up to Edward. Seeing him smile she blushed and quickly typed on her keyboard.

"There is one departing at 3:45pm and there are still a few seats available. Would you like to reserve one?" she asked and gave him a flirty smile.

'_God he's gorgeous. Too bad he wants to go to Toronto. So far away... and I'm off work at 4 today too. Oh the things I would do to this hunk...' _ Her thoughts invaded Edward's mind and he tried to drown them out. He had absolutely no interested in this woman apart from getting him a ticket out of here.

"Yes, I would like a seat on that flight." He handed her a shiny black credit card and his fake passport.

She typed quickly on the computer and printed the ticket.

"Is there anything else at all I can do for you?" _'Like maybe run away from work and do anything you want...'_

"No. Thank you. Have a nice day." Edward replied and took his ticket.

'_You could have made it nicer.'_ The woman thought as Edward walked away.

So he was going to Toronto after 'Ronald'.

'_I am going to keep my distance though and only make sure he doesn't try to kill himself.'_

_

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AN: So I have decided that Edward can partially read Harry's mind. The reason will of course be explained later on. But for now it is a scratched record with occasional thoughts. ALSO i know Harry is suppose to be 25 but i have decided that on the outside he still looks younger. Like 19 ish. Ill tell you why now so i dont get you all flustered over it. I figured that since the people in the magical world live longer than muggles do that Harry`s ageing would slow down after he turned 17 just like everyone else in the magical world (in my story) of course Edward does not know this ...yet. Hope you enjoyed this... let me know!!!!


	4. The Glass Floor

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything. Twilight is all Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter is all J.K. Rowling.

**Warning: **SLASH. Suicidal at times. Don't like it. Don't read it.

**Author's little note: **Just thought i would use this chapter to deepen our understanding of what harry is going through and allow some time for Edward to travel. Now i know there is no Edward in this chapter. not yet. do you really think that he would jump off the plane and know exactly where harry was... ummm no. So he will be searching around for a bit. or maybe just loose interest in Harry. who knows ....

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**The Glass Floor –** HPOV

As soon as the plane landed Harry was in a rush to get out of the airport. That had been one of the worst plane flights of his life which was surprising considering he had been on countless planes before. Harry had spent the entire four and a half hour trip squished between muggles who unfortunately would not leave him alone. They were in fact probably trying to be sociable and polite but to Harry it was obnoxious and annoying. He had never felt more claustrophobic in his life. The only good thing about the whole trip was that the situation was distracting. It took a hold of his mind and kept him in the present. Each time that Harry was just about to slip off into a full on depressive thought someone would ask him a question or need to get up to go to the bathroom.

'_Like didn't those people get the point? I wanted to be left alone!' _ Harry thought as he made his way out of Pearson International Airport, finally in Toronto.

There were already taxis waiting outside for travellers so Harry just jumped in the first one he came to.

"Where ye headed Sir?" the cad driver asked.

"A hotel I guess." Harry answered not really concerned with where he was going just that it was far away from an airport.

The cabdriver looked back at Harry with a puzzled look. "Ok. Well which Hotel?"

Harry didn't know the name of any hotels in Toronto. "Whichever one is nice and close to downtown I suppose. Surprise me." He responded.

The driver put the car in gear and sped off. "How about the Metropolitan Hotel? It's basically in the middle of everything and very nice. Expensive though." He shot Harry a questioning glance through the rear view mirror.

"That's fine." Harry responded.

The cab driver shrugged his shoulders and turned on the radio. Harry spent the whole 20 min drive listening to oldies rock blasting from the radio and staring at the buildings passing by. As soon as the cab pulled up at the hotel Harry threw $40 at the cabbie and quickly made his way inside eager for the day to be over.

With a few quick words and a shinny credit card handed to the lady at the front desk, Harry found himself in his suite. To Harry this room looked way too bright and cheerful. Everything in the room was white except for the curtains and carpets which where a navy blue. After setting his backpack down on the bed he closed all the curtains and turned on the small bedside lamp.

'_Much better. Now the room at least looks more like a cave.'_ Harry thought to himself as he took off his shoes and lay down.

As soon as he closed his eyes a flash of amber eyes crossed his mind.

'_Why is this happening to me?' _

Harry could feel himself slipping into darkness. A darkness that obscured his world and aroused the visions. Visions of everything and everyone he had lost and now this new vision of Edward Cullen. The vampire that Harry barely knew but was beginning to capture his mind in a way that had not occurred in 7 waking years.

'_Not tonight.' _Harry thought. _'I will not fall into that awful abyss tonight.'_

Harry needed a drink, anything to help him sleep a dreamless sleep.

'_Thank god for mini bars.' _

This was another habit for Harry. He made his way over to the little fridge next to the TV in his room. Pulled out all 11 of the little bottles and went back to bed. He flicked on the TV and one by one downed the bottles of bliss. After a few hours of mindlessly watching television he fell asleep.

When Harry finally woke up he had no way of telling what time it was. The room was still dark from the closed curtains. He fumbled around a bit looking for his glasses and then the light switch. The clock on top of the TV said 10:34am. At least he had managed to sleep through the night thanks to his mini bar. Harry's stomach growled reminding him that the last time he had eaten was the awful meal on the plane and even then he had only picked at it. After a quick shower and change of clothes he found himself making his way down on the elevator.

The hotel had a continental breakfast laid out and Harry managed to scarf down some food just as they were cleaning it up. With his personal hygiene and hunger taken care of Harry decided to go for a walk around the city.

'_Keep myself in the light and away from my thoughts...'_

Harry wondered around Toronto for a few hours until he came upon the CN tower. Without even thinking about it Harry found himself buying a ticket and getting into an elevator that took him up the tallest freestanding building in the world. He felt the pressure in his head and his ears pop as the elevator went up at an alarming speed. He was glad to get out of there when the doors finally opened.

When looking around on the main floor Harry realised that if he was not aware of how high up he was then he wouldn't be able to tell the difference. But the view when he made it over to the lookout was amazing. He could see so far overtop all the buildings in the city. There was one thing that drew Harry's attention as he was exploring the tower and that was the glass floor. 2 and ½ inches of glass that you could stand on and see right down to the world below. He walked out to the middle of one of the pains and looked down. He could see everything, even people walking around below enjoying themselves on this crisp fall day. Why couldn't he enjoy his life anymore? What was there really left for him to live for? The amber eyes? He shook that thought out of his mind and looked down at the ground below.

Harry found himself wondering what if the glass just disappeared? What if he would just fall and fall and fall until there was nothing? At least it would bring an end to this life of his. This measly existence that he had been left with. He was never supposed to be here. It was never suppose to be Harry Potter who had to live a life after the war. He was supposed to die there on that field at Hogwarts. Hell. He had died but he had to be brought back to finish the man that caused it all.

'_But, why am I alone? Why did everyone else have to die but me?'_

The fear of having a full on panic attack in front of so many people brought Harry back to the present and away from the glass floor. Being in public was not a good place for him right now. He could feel himself sink into a rut of darkness that could only get better with sleep or whiskey. Harry quickly made his way down the tower and back to the hotel. Once he was back in his room he shut the curtains, turned off all the lights and curled back in bed.

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AN: Thats it for chapter 4 let me know what you think. maybe back to EPOV next chapter...........


	5. Into The Shadows

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything. Twilight is all Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter is all J.K. Rowling.

**Warning: **SLASH. Suicidal at times. Don't like it. Don't read it.

**Author's little note: **I'm warning you all right now.. If you dont like Edward being a bad boy dont read this yourself warned. Were back in EPOV for this Chapter.

**

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**Into The Shadows**

It was a partly sunny day in Toronto. This posed a problem for Edward because he was going to have to wait in the airport for the sun to go down unless risk showing himself to the world.

But how was he going to find 'Ronald'? Edward had not caught the boys scent when he got off the plane as he had hopped so he began to wander around the airport trying to pick it up for some indication as to where the human had gone. He did this while skilfully avoiding any windows or open doors that would allow in the sunlight that would make his vampire skin glow. Edward was wearing a long sleeved shirt and jacket but the exposed skin on his hands and especially on his face were more than enough to send any human who saw him in the sun into a panic.

But where to go?

'_Where do I start even looking for this human?'_ Edward thought while trying to drown out the noise of all the minds that surrounded him.

'_and in Toronto. Why of all places in this vast world did he have to run off to Toronto?'_

Edward had not been to Toronto in over 60 years. He had lived in this city from 1927 till 1931 and these were the times in Edward's vampire life that he was not proud of. Carlisle had turned Edward into a vampire when he was dying of the Spanish influenza in 1918. He had introduced Edward to the vegetarian way of life ie. Drinking animal blood and for the first 9 years of his vampire life he followed Carlisle's instruction. Until one day in 1927 he left Carlisle to see what life was like without the vegetarian diet. Toronto had been the city he had fled to and the city he had spent four years taking human life. He had preyed on the innocent and fragile humans like the monster he was made to be.

_Flashback to 1927_

Edward took a deep breath enjoying the mix of aromas around him. He was wandering High Park on a cool fall night, enjoying his freedom from Carlisle and his rules. This was the first time in 9 years where Edward made all of his own decisions and it was refreshing. He stalked the nights of Toronto going anywhere he wanted and behaving like the predator he was. He inhaled again and caught a small hint of the scent that set his vampire instincts into motion. He moved quickly in the shadow of the night towards his prey. As he got closer to the scent he could separate it into three perfect aromas accompanied by beating hearts.

There were three men standing by a children's playground. With a quick listen in on their minds Edward found out they were planning the murder of a so called gangster that had been causing them some trouble.

"Tomorrow. I say we all meet back here and do it tomorrow. I can't take one more day of that man stealing my runs." One man said in a hushed voice. He was the tallest of the three and seemed like the leader of the group.

So they were rum runners Edward realised reading their minds. Alcohol had been banned in the United States since 1919. Not that Edward cared; being a vampire he had no taste for alcohol. These bootleggers were common and apparently planning on 'taking care of' someone who was running alcohol across the border to their buyers. He heard a few agreeing whispers and they split up to go their separate ways.

Edward followed the tall man who he has heard speak first. He briskly walked in the opposite direction of his comrades. Edward's superior sences could smell the alcohol on this man's lips and he could tell by the slight sway in the man's walk that he was feeling the effects of alcohol. Edward quickly made his way in front of the man to cut him off.

The man looked up at Edward shocked at his sudden appearance.

"Uh. Sorry didn't see you there." He moved to walk around Edward but was stopped when his way was again blocked by the Vampire.

"Get out of my way before I knock you out Kid." The man spat at Edward with his fists up hoping to scare him off.

Edward could feel his thrust rise nearly past his self control and his eyes darkened to a deep black. He felt the venom pour into his mouth at the thought of what was to come.

The man's face was now full of fear. "What the hell. Who are you?"

Edward ignored the question and moved towards the man. He turned to run away but Edward was on him before he could flee from the predator. Edward then let his vampiric instincts take over as he held the struggling man and sank his sharp teeth at the base of his neck. There was nothing the man could do now. Fighting the vampire was like trying to fight of the inevitable. As the first few drops of blood reached Edward's tongue his mind began to swim and his head pounded to the rhythm of the man's heart. The blood rushed through his body filling every vessel with liquid hot energy. This is the highlight of a vampire's existence.

To a Vampire It is the most euphoric and satisfying sensation that is only achieved with the sacrifice of human life.

_End Falshback_

The thought of this memory made Edward's eyes darken and throat burn. He hissed at the thought of all the lives he had ignorantly taken over those years.

'_I am a monster. How can I ever have love when I am created to destroy? Can I ever redeem myself from taking those lives? Is it possible to live a normal existence without death? Will I ever forgive myself? Could the one I love ever forgive me for what I have done?'_

Edward pondered these questions as he slipped into the shadows of the Toronto night. Could all ever be forgiven?

'_No. I am a monster.'_

_

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AN: I had always wondered what Edward had done with those years that he had left carlisle and now i have come up with something that i like. If you dont like the idea of Edward being a bad boy... well i did warn you in the beginning if you read my note. It also does explain a little better why he thinks he is such a monster, since he actually has memories of killing humans. Let me know what you all thought !!!


	6. Decisions and Reflexes

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything. Twilight is all Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter is all J.K. Rowling.

**Warning: **SLASH. Suicidal at times. Don't like it. Don't read it.

**Author's little note:**Sorry if i am going slow here. I like to really develop my characters and the setting before I just jump them into bed. I am also writting my story as a stand alone... aka you would not absolutly HAVE to read or remember the books of Twilight OR Harry Potter to understand whats going on in this story. I hate reading a fanfic when i don't remember an important part so basically nothing makes sense. Also there is a little bit of flipping back and forth between Edward and Harry POV. so let me know if it doesn't make sense.

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**Decisions and Reflexes **

HPOV

There was a thin line of light that peaked through the nearly closed curtain of the hotel room. Harry groaned as he woke up and stretched his legs out, the muscles protesting to the movement. The morning felt no different than the last to the wizard except for the presence of a headache courtesy of the alcohol he had drank the night before. He lay there for a few minutes content to be half way between asleep and awake with the small amount of sunlight warming his cheek. His full bladder finally protested enough to make him get out of bed to use the restroom. As soon as Harry stood straight up his head began to pound and his vision blurred.

'_Great! Hangover.'_

Harry went to his backpack and pulled out his emergency stash of pain killers that he kept for times such as this. His trip to the restroom and back was shaky which resulted in Harry flopping back on the bed. He gave up on moving and tried to fall back asleep hoping to wake up without the headache and body cramps.

Sleep was not going to come so easy this time. Instead his mind wandered back into the past taking him into the deep depression he was so use to. The flashes of the faces of people he had loved and had died. Harry curled up under the covers praying for the visions to stop. For the pain to stop. Until his thoughts finally rested on the amber eyes of Edward Cullen. Even the mental image of the vampire was beautiful and Harry's breathing began to steady. The thought of Edward's became somewhat soothing to Harry. The image of the vampire invaded the worst of his depressions and seemed to take a hold of Harry's mind and bring him back to the surface.

'_How is it that this vampire can come into my mind and do battle with my worst depressions? I have only seen him once in my life.'_

Harry was confused. He had spent the last seven years running from everything. The past, the visions and himself. And with a few small glances at a vampire he now had a better chance of fighting his internal demons. But now he wondered about Edward Cullen. Who was this vampire? Where did he come from? Where was he now? Could Harry ever find him again?

Harry brushed the last thought off and attempted to get out of bed. He desperately needed a shower and his stomach was growling angrily with neglect.

The sun was going down as the room service finally came to the door with the food Harry had ordered. He plopped himself down in front of the television turned onto the news as a distraction and forced the food down. He kept his eyes plastered to the TV in hopes of keeping his mind at bay so he could eat. Having the news on was a bad idea. There was a story on about a mass murder that was still at large somewhere in the states. The pictures of his known victims flashed across the screen along with their names and a small story about who they were before this deranged psychopath entered and ended their lives.

Then one face crowed the screen that looked so familiar. There was bushy brown hair, brown eyes and some slightly oversized front teeth.

Harry knew as soon as he saw the picture that it was not the Hermione Granger of his past. This girl was too young and had too many freckles. But Harry couldn't help the visions that followed: seeing Hermione laugh at his clumsiness, her hand shooting up in every class ready to burst with the answer to a question. Seeing the love in her eyes when she looked at Ron, Harry's best mate.

The vision of Voldemort standing over their lifeless bodies with a laugh that will forever echo in Harry's bones.

The hotel room began to close in on Harry as he felt the black abyss of depression slip over every inch of himself. He had to get out of here. Go anywhere. Just run. He scrambled out of his room and made his way to the stairs. Instead of going down he ran up. Up and up, feeling the burn in his legs and his lungs beg for more oxygen. He finally made it to the top and pushed the door open with more force than he believed he was capable of. The fresh air filled his lungs and the wind whipped his now sweat ridden hair out of his face.

Harry slowed to a walk enjoying this feeling. He walked to the edge and looked down across Toronto. Taking a deep breath he made a decision. His life was useless. The pain would never end. He climbed up on the edge and let the wind whip around his body. It was as alive as he had felt in the last seven years. He closed his eyes and allowed the visions in. They were all he was left with and now he wanted to join them.

"Wind. Take me with you, I am trapped here and I don't deserve a place in this world. It was not meant for me."

The wind whipped around him and he lost his balance.

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EPOV

Edward had checked at almost every hotel in Toronto for the name Ronald Weasly. He knew that name was a fake but he hoped that at least it would give him a reason to be in the hotels to see if he could smell the boy's presence. It was night on the second day of Edward's search as he was approaching the Metropolitan Hotel. He entered the hotel and noticed a slight hint of the scent that he had been searching for. Instead of asking for Ronald he decided to just act like a guest and search the hotel himself.

Edward made his way to the stairs so he would use his sense of smell to look for the human on each floor. As Edward made his way up the stairs the boys scent grew stronger until he reached the 6th floor and realised this was a very fresh trail. He quickened his accent and realised the sweat being mixed into the human's scent. Edward was worried that someone was chasing the boy but he could not smell anyone else's presence other than the hints of other humans that had been in the stairs that day.

'_What is he running from?'_

Edward could feel a sinking feeling come over him as he ran the rest of the way up the stairs. He pushed the door open to see 'Ronald' standing on the ledge dangerously close to falling.

"Wind. Take me with you, I am trapped here and I don't deserve a place in this world. It was not meant for me." He heard the human say as the wind caught him and he began to fall.

Edward reacted without thinking. He ran to the edge and pulled the boy back from his deadly fall.

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HPOV

Harry was expecting to feel the rush of air but instead he felt cool arms. The quickness of the movement made his head spin and knocked the wind out of his lungs. The last thing he remembered seeing were a set of amber eyes and a feeling of safety before blackness.

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EPOV

Edward looked down into the green eyes of the boy he had just saved. It was then that Edward realised being this close to the human and having him in his arms that he never wanted to leave. He felt the spark that had been there in their first handshake but now it was more. He could feel his insides turn and if his heart could beat it would be beating fiercely.

The boys eyes rolled and he fell unconscious.

Edward after realising he was unharmed and just asleep traced his sent back to the hotel room. He found the key in the boys pocket and let opened the door. He carefully placed his human on the bed and sat to watch the boy sleep. The whole night the boy slept peacefully and his mind was empty.

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AN: Ok so thats it for Chap 6 let me know if the POV switching didnt make sense. It seemed to work ok when i read through it ... but hey. ALSO!!!!! Im having some issues deciding how much of a role Bella is going to play in this. I have a few more chapters before I will get really stumped on that one so if you would like to see something let me know now so i can write it in.


	7. Soft Light

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything. Twilight is all Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter is all J.K. Rowling.

**Warning: **SLASH. Suicidal at times. Don't like it. Don't read it.

**Author's little note:** I know i havent been around in a while. been busy and travelling. I am back and will try to pop out a chapter every few days or so. I have the next few half written. Sorry this one is short but i figured i would get you readers back on track.

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**Soft Light**

Harry awoke to sun on his face as he had the day before. But this morning was different. It was the first time in years that Harry actually felt refreshed from his sleep. He could not even remember the last time he had slept through the night without a single nightmare or even a vision. It was a peaceful feeling and Harry did not want to ever give it up. He let out a sigh of relief and rolled over to sink further into the mattress enjoying the softness of the covers holding on to him. He was enjoying every moment of curling up in the bed and wanted nothing more than to stay there forever exactly as he was. There was no headache this morning. The sun was shining through a half opened curtain allowing the soft morning light into the room. He could feel the warm on his skin and the light through his closed eyes. Harry felt more safe then he had in years.

Then a memory flooded his mind. A rooftop at night. Despair and a wanting for it all to end. And then the cool arms.

Harry's mind shot back to the present. His body stiffened when he realised that he must not be alone in the room. He opened his eyes. The sun was bright and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. The room looked different somehow. Brighter and more of a happy place then it had been the day before. It was like until this morning the only colours that were noticeable were grays and now the room had colour. The carpet, walls and even the comforter on the bed was a bright blue. Harry's eyes continued to search the room. And there he was in the darkest corner of the room sitting in a chair unmoving like a statue was Edward Cullen.

As soon as Harry's eyes landed on him, Edward moved as if he was coming out of a trance.

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" He asked moving his hands from his lap to the arm rests as if to get up.

Harry scrambled to sit upright and pulled the covers up as if to hide.

"I'm ummm. Ok. Thanks." He was in shock. Edward had been in his room the entire night. _'Oh my god! Oh my god. Did I say anything in my sleep? He must think I'm crazy. Trying to jump. Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me?'_

The thought that Edward had seen him like that was frightening. The thought that he might have heard Harry screaming in his sleep was unbearable.

Edward was still sitting in the chair patiently.

"You seemed to sleep well last night. Out like a light." Edward said as if reading Harry's mind full of worry.

Harry just looked at him blankly not knowing what to say next.

"I did not want to wake you, Ronald. You looked like you need the rest."

Harry cringed at the use of the name Ronald on Edward's perfect lips. It was wrong of him to use a fake name. '_Just say it Harry.'_ He thought to himself. '_Tell him your name. He saved your life for god sakes. Just say actually my name is Harry Potter.'_ Harry looked back up at Edward. Why was it so difficult for him to just say two words? His real name.

"Harry"

The word burst out of Harry's mouth so quick he wasn't sure he had actually said it.

"My name is Harry Potter. I'm sorry I lied to you before. I am just a little wary of strangers right now."

Harry's eyes sank to the bed fully expecting Edward to get angry and leave. Just as everyone else in his life has left him, alone. Out of the corner of his eye Harry could see Edward stand but instead of walking out the door he moved towards the bed.

"Harry. I am not angry with you for lying about who you are. I can see that you are hurting right now."

Harry looked up into those deep amber eyes and saw a genuine look of concern. His stomach squeezed at the thought of this vampire actually caring about his wellbeing. Edward sat down on the end of the bed.

"I don't know why but I feel like I need to help you. Like you are in desperate need of at least a friend. I want you to know, even though you may not know me at all. I am here. If you need an open ear to talk to."

I was Edward's turn to be looking away like he was deep in thought and not sure if this human was going to think he was a crazy stalker who would hurt him. He stood up and turned toward to door.

"I'll leave you to get your rest. You don't look like you will be trying to jump off any buildings anytime soon." He said to the human with a small smile brushing his lips.

Just seeing the hint of a smile on the vampire was enough to make Harry forget about it all and smile himself. He realised that he had not actually thanked Edward for saving his life.

"Thank you by the way. For everything. I'll be fine." Harry gave the vampire another half smile.

"You're welcome." Edward opened the door. "I'll be staying in this hotel as well for a while. You may ask for me at the front desk if you wish. "

The door closed behind him with a click and Harry was alone yet the knowledge that Edward would not be far away kept him sated. For the moment the hotel was as inviting as a place could ever be.

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AN: Another will soon follow ! ;) comments.......


	8. A Possible Change?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything. Twilight is all Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter is all J.K. Rowling.

**Warning: **SLASH. Suicidal at times. Don't like it. Don't read it.

**Author's little note:** Not much to say here. Enjoy.

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**A Possible Change?**

Harry looked around the empty hotel room still sitting in the middle of the bed holding the covers the same way as when Edward had left the room only a few minutes ago. He realised that he had no idea what time it was and glanced at the clock.

'_9:15 am. Holy shit. That's the longest I've ever slept through a night. Without being drunk anyways.'_

Harry shook his head embarrassed with himself. What had his life come to? Endless nights of drinking and brooding, wasting away his existence. He moved from the bed towards the bathroom deciding to at least have a shower and clean up before he even began to think about what to do with himself for the day.

After some hot water, lots of soap and a razor Harry's reflection began to look familiar to him again. His overall features had not changed much in the last seven years but there were dark circles and lines that looked odd on his teenage features. He took a few minutes to decide what to wear. Desperate for a distraction and to waste as much time as possible. It had been so long since he was even aware of the clothes that he covered his body with. They were defiantly plain and unflattering to his body, not that he had much of a figure. Harry was underweight and he knew it. He looked at himself more closely in the mirror. His skin was pale from too much time in dark rooms but it was even and smooth and seemed to suit his lean figure. With a bit of exercise, new clothes and a diet that consisted of less alcohol he could see himself being content with his physical appearance again.

_`Ok so list of things to do. 1. Go shopping. 2. Find something active to do. `_

But why did he all of a sudden care? Harry had spent absolutely none of his time since the war worried about his appearance. Now all of a sudden he felt like he needed to improve himself. Could he possibly want to change for a flashy set of amber eyes? Harry found himself sitting on the bed staring at the wall confused. He could appreciate that Edward was an attractive guy but was Harry attracted to him? More than a possible friend but in a way that made Harry want to run his fingers through the vampire's hair. He shook the thoughts from his head and pulled on jeans and a plain black turtle neck. He needed to get out of the hotel and quick.

In the lobby Harry found himself walking towards the front desk. He decided that it wouldn't hurt to ask what room Edward had checked into. It was the same woman who had been at the front desk when he checked in two days before.

"Good morning sir. How can I help you?" She flashed him a smile.

"I was wondering if a Mr. Edward Cullen had checked in yet and what room he is in?" Harry tried his best to return the smile.

The woman's blue eyes flashed to the screen and Harry could hear the clicking of her finger nails on the keys.

"I'm sorry. No one by the name of Cullen has checked in yet."

"Thanks anyways." Harry replied dimly.

"Have a nice day." The woman called as he turned and headed out of the hotel.

It was defiantly fall in the city. The air was cold enough that Harry could see his breath. He flagged down a cab and asked to be taken to a park. One where there were lots of trees and he could walk to clear his head. The cabbie looked at him with one eyebrow cocked.

"Bad day?" he asked.

"Umm. No, I just need some air and I may as well explore the city a bit while I'm here." Harry responded.

"English are ya? Nice accent. Always wanted to visit England. A little too late now. So what are you doing all the way over here in Canada?"

"Visiting friends." Harry lied.

"Great place isn't it. Been here 6 years. Originally I'm from Chicago."

'_Great I found the most talkative cabbie in all of Toronto.'_ Harry thought to himself.

"Ever been to Chicago?" the cabbie asked.

"No." Harry replied and tried to pay attention to the buildings passing by. Thankfully the cabbie took the hint that Harry didn't seem like he wanted to talk. And after about a 10 min drive they pulled up to a set of gates that read "High Park." Harry handed the cabbie his fare and headed back into the cool fall air. He took a deep breath welcoming the fresh air into his lungs and began to walk into the park. It was a beautiful scene. The leaves were changing colour and made the whole park look like a painting. There were children playing the largest wooden castle play house Harry had ever seen. He was determined to enjoy his surroundings and content to watch others having fun.

It was impossible though to keep his mind from wondering, especially to the events of the night before and now the possible missing . Edward had told Harry that he was going to be staying at the hotel.

'_He probably went out for something to eat and will be checked in by the time I head back to my room.'_ Harry thought deciding to stay hopeful.

He spent the better part of his day wandering the park, stopping for lunch in a cafe. As the sun was setting he finally hopped in a cab and headed back to the hotel. On his way in he stopped at the front desk.

"Has Edward Cullen checked in yet?" Harry asked the man who was working the evening shift.

He typed on the computer as the woman had that morning.

"Sorry sir, no Edward Cullens have checked in yet."

"Thanks" Harry muttered and headed to his room.

Now Harry was getting a little worried. '_Has Edward realised how crazy I am and finally just take off? I guess I can't really blame him. Who in their right mind would hang out with a depressed suicidal ex- wizard?'_ It was useless for Harry to let his mind go on but he was shocked that he had referred to himself as an ex-wizard. That was something that he had given up and tried to forget ages ago.

'_Now I really am going bonkers.'_ He thought and headed for the mini bar. But after two drinks he gave up and turned on the TV as a distraction. A few hours of mindless shows and he fell asleep.

The next morning Harry awoke feeling very disorientated. He was alone in his room and it took him a minute to remember where he was and the events of the past few days. The only thing that got him up was the hope that a certain Vampire might be close by. After a quick shower and another fight with his wardrobe,_ 'Today is defiantly the day I am going shopping,'_ he decided and headed out of his room.

The clerk at the front desk again informed him that no one by the name of Edward Cullen had checked in to the hotel yet.

'_Where the heck is he?_' Harry thought getting frustrated with Edward. _'Maybe he is here and just used a different name. Or maybe he thought it would be funny to help me out and then run off and laugh about it. Ass hole'_

Harry shook of the anger and the worried feeling and headed for a cab. He was determined to stay as distracted as possible and shopping was a must.

'_He will come find me when he wants to...I hope'_

Harry spent the day at the Eaton's Center. He picked out some casual wear that made him look well dressed and clean cut. He even stopped for a haircut. By the time he made it back to the hotel it was supper time.

Still no Edward Cullen had checked in.

'_This is getting ridiculous'_ Harry thought. _'Where is he?'_

He reluctantly headed to his room and unpacked all his new things. Had he dreamt up the entire thing? Was this beautiful vampire who had saved his life just a figment of his imagination? This thought was too much for Harry and the bottle of vodka sitting in the fridge was opened. And as he had so many nights before meeting Edward he drank away his worries till all that was left was the numbness.

The next few days passed much the same. No Edward. Things began to go backwards for Harry. He now fully believed that it was all a dream and his nightmares of before came back. The new clothes were put aside and uncared for. He closed the curtains and went back into the darkness and his past.

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AN: So Where is Edward.. Guesses?


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